


Aftermath

by peppermintquartz



Series: Bleachverse: Red Black White Gold [3]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Do Not Mess With Renji, F/M, Revenge is Sweet, Rukia is a Wily Bitch, Urahara Gets His Comeuppance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-06
Updated: 2012-06-06
Packaged: 2017-11-07 01:34:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/425462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppermintquartz/pseuds/peppermintquartz





	Aftermath

Tessai bowed respectfully as the slim shinigami rapped on the counter.

“I want to see Urahara.” Rukia's face was unreadable. She was dressed in a green and pink sundress, the thin straps showing off a tan her gigai got on a road trip two days ago, and looking remarkably dangerous despite her tiny stature.

Tessai wanted to ask what it was about, but Rukia just cocked her head at the inner sanctum. Bowing again, the muscular man slipped behind the door to get his boss.

“Kuchiki-san!” Urahara called out cheerfully. “What brings you to my humble establishment?”

“I have a score to settle with you,” Rukia spat, her arms folded across her chest. “You dosed Renji and made him... made him...”

“The target of lust bunnies _du jour_? But that was five days ago! You can't be affected still.”

“That's not the point. How can you just pop him a pill and turn him into your experiment?”

Urahara laughed innocently behind his fan. “It was all for a good cause, Kuchiki-san. He got the better end of the deal after all. I heard the hottest hotties in Seireitei put their moves on him – including the very hunky Shuuhei and also-”

“-my brother. And Ichigo. And my captain, almost. You sick, perverted... you don't have any more of those pills do you?” she asked, hands now planted on her hips.

Urahara mused privately that the Kuchiki girl had a certain flair for dramatics, much like her adopted brother. Both were also likely to deny the fact. He tipped his hat and smiled reassuringly,“No, I destroyed every last one of them.”

“Promise?” Her large eyes narrowed as she stepped closer. “No more lust-maddening episodes?”

“I swear it, Kuchiki-san-”

“Call me Rukia.” Her lip curled with annoyed amusement. “After all you've put me through, I think I know you pretty damn well to call you Kisuke too.”

“Erm, yeah, sure.” Urahara was a little thrown. But then she was the aggressive type, so this was nothing special. Was it?

“Right. Just so we're clear...” She stalked right up to him, her face upturned to glare into his shadowed eyes. “Kisuke Urahara, if you ever, _ever_ use Renji as your guinea pig again, I would kiss you. What brand of aftershave do you use?”

“Huh?”

“You smell real nice... kind of summery,” she sniffed his shirt, then his neck. Urahara froze: what was happening here? Her small hands flattened on his chest and he had to pull away. She pouted. “I was complimenting you, Kisuke.”

“Thanks... I think,” he said, now backing away further. She advanced, her lips parting. He banged against the wall of his little room and she was on him, arms twining about his neck.

Rukia purred, “Am I that scary that you have to run away, hmm?”

“No you're not – whoa ho ho!” Her lips had fastened onto his neck, and she was _biting_ ; then her tongue licked at the spot before licking all the way to his stubbled chin, to the edge of his mouth. His dropped his fan and took hold of her slim shoulders. “Rukia, what are you trying to – mmmph!”

She was kissing him hungrily, fiercely. Her tongue invaded his and, in that one glorious moment, Urahara forgot he was trying to push her off himself. He dropped his sword stick as well, the thump of Benihime on the tatami barely registering in his mind. It was a good kiss, Urahara thought muzzily, and he should know. At least as ferocious as Yoruichi, if not quite as skilled as his other great love Sousuke... but the surprise factor added to her favor. Urahara was so seldom surprised.

“Oh, Kisuke, you taste as good as you smell,” Rukia sighed. She was rubbing her body against him, and little arcs of desire raced though his veins. “I want... I feel as though I'm on _fire_. Can you feel that fire beneath your skin, Kisuke?”

“Um, yes?”

Urahara gulped again when small hands ventured to his waist and then skated over his hipbones, and his knees wobbled very slightly. That was enough for Rukia to begin kissing him again, and her soft moans were so very different from her usual snarls and commands.

Rukia whimpered when he shifted his grip and moved his head. “I want to kiss you, Kisuke, I want you so bad...”

“Really?” he breathed. “That can be arranged.”

“Shhh... no more talk. Use your tongue more... profitably.” She slammed her mouth on his and drove rational thought away.

To his surprise she was the one who initiated more, her tongue exploring the warmth of his own, her teeth pulling and nipping at his lower lip, her right hand sliding through his hair and the other hand slipping over his chest. He felt her moan as she rubbed herself against him, and he was definitely responding involuntarily. His loins flooded with fire, and he ached to have this strangely seductive girl-woman now moaning into his mouth.

His own hands now slipped to her waist and circled it, then in one heave he had her gripping him with her legs. He now pinned her to the wall. His hat was probably somewhere on the floor being trampled, but he didn't care. He had dozens of hats, but there was only one Kuchiki Rukia pressing into him, her tongue still claiming his mouth, her fingers tangled into his hair, her left hand grazing his nipples. He groaned throatily when she tweaked it; it had been so long since he took a lover, and she was far from unattractive...

“What the hell do you think you're doing?”

“Wha – Abarai-san!” Urahara dropped Rukia immediately. Flustered, the shopkeeper fumbled for his usual accessories. To his dismay he saw Abarai Renji's foot stomped on his Benihime. “Eh hehehehe... How, uh, surprising to see you here, Abarai-san!”

“I'd say so.” The lieutenant was in shinigami form already, his gigai in the corner. “Rukia, come here now.”

“But Renji, Kisuke smells great,” she complained. “I want to keep on smelling him.”

“No. No more smelling. Come here,” Renji growled and Rukia went reluctantly to the redhead's side. Renji resumed glaring death rays at Urahara. “And what the hell did you think you were doing? If you say you were doing my woman, you're a dead man.”

“I was... um...” The usually glib shopkeeper was at a loss for words. “It's a misunderstanding. We were just talking...”

“You were groping and kissing my girl. That's not a misunderstanding. That was molest.”

“In my own defense she was definitely kissing back-”

“-and I suppose you'll tell me she came on to you.” Renji's eyes narrowed. “And I suppose you'll say you didn't dose yourself with that strange concoction you had experimented on me.”

“Well she – did come on to me... and I didn't!”

“I'm done talking. I came back to help train Sado, and I find you making moves on my girl. Howl, Zabimaru.”

“Wait wait wait... it really is all a mistake!”

“Mistake this.”

The whip-blade smashed through the walls and into the shop itself, shattering the dusty displays and scattering provisions all over. Tessai leaped over and blocked Ururu and Jinta from Renji's blade, and Urahara cowered flat.

Renji drew his sword back and sheathed it. “Try anything funny again and I'll tear _you_ up next time, ex-captain or no. Come on, Rukia. It's time you got back to the Kurosaki house.”

“But Renji...”

“But me no buts. Move it.”

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Once they exited, Urahara slumped down in his second-favorite chair, one of the few things that was not destroyed by the red-haired lieutenant's attack. A dark-skinned woman sauntered in.

“Yoruichi-san! You didn't help me out,” moaned Urahara. “It's gonna cost me a bomb and a half to get everything up again.”

“You looked like you were enjoying the situation, Kisuke.” Yoruichi kicked a can away. “Plus I think you deserved whatever payback you got.”

“It was your idea to hold that bet!”

“You were the one who carried it out. Sucker.”

“You're evil,” Urahara said as Yoruichi idly tore down a fraction of the wall.

She grinned at him, her white teeth gleaming. “I'm a black cat. I'm supposed to be evil.” She sauntered out again with a wave. “Enjoy your cleanup, U-ra-ha-ra-san!”

He groaned again, and plopped his chin on his hands.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Some distance away from the shop, Abarai Renji strolled beside Rukia, his fingers neatening her disheveled hair. “So _this_ is payback?”

“I like how you threatened him. But since when was I 'your girl'?” Rukia asked, her eyes fixed ahead.

Renji smirked. “You're not?”

“Nope.” She slipped her arm through his. “Since all I can taste is Urahara, I'd say I'm his girl.”

“That is a situation that is easily remedied.” Renji's arm tightened around Rukia. “I can't believe he fell for your act though.”

“I'm an accomplished actress, Renji.”

“As good as your drawings. Just promise me that was your last performance.”

“For him or for you?”

“Duh.” He ruffled her hair again. “Don't be stupid.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
